Hello Friend,
I’d like to talk about the different effects antidepressants have had on my physical and mental health. Let me start by listing my physical profile—maybe this can help someone out there who feels the same way. My name is Nadya, I’m a 25-year-old female, currently 170 lbs, and 5’0″ tall.
This article will contain some facts regarding the medication, but mostly, it is about my personal experience taking it. Four years ago, I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder. Of course, at the young age of 21, I quickly accepted all the diagnoses and tried the first medication prescribed to me—Lexapro, 10mg. The most common side effects listed for Lexapro are:
- Gastrointestinal issues
- Sleep disturbances
- Sexual side effects (decreased libido, difficulty reaching orgasm, erectile dysfunction)
- Mood and energy changes
- Appetite/weight changes
When speaking to my psychiatrist at the time, she was very nonchalant about these side effects, leading me to believe that there was a very small chance I would experience any of them.
Six months after being on this medication, I noticed my mood was not improving. Not only was my appetite significantly increased, but I also began experiencing suicidal thoughts—something I had never dealt with before. As a teenager, I was pretty anxious but never to the point of thinking this way. I consulted with my psychiatrist, and I was then switched to Zoloft. The side effects for this medication are as follows:
- Gastrointestinal issues
- Neurological effects
- Sexual side effects
- Mood and energy changes
- Appetite/weight changes
Zoloft can also present withdrawal effects if stopped abruptly. Even knowing all of this, the pain of depression and anxiety was far worse than the potential side effects—or so I thought at the time. While on Zoloft, I noticed my appetite hadn’t changed; I still wanted to eat everything and had intense cravings. Additionally, I noticed my hair was falling out.
I have suffered from gastrointestinal issues my entire life and have been in and out of hospitals because of them. However, the stomach pain was something I had learned to live with. Every doctor I saw for my stomach issues never considered that my medication might be making my symptoms worse. So, I believed them and took whatever medication I was prescribed.
After six months of taking Zoloft, I noticed a significant difference, particularly in terms of hair loss—my hair was so thin. The suicidal thoughts were also returning, though I’m not sure they ever truly went away. I should mention that I was in consistent therapy throughout all of this. Everyone tells you that it takes time to find the right medication, and while I agree—whether it’s taking medication or not—it is an extremely frustrating, time-consuming process. One thing I wish I had done before starting medication was a full blood workup. One psychiatrist recommended it, but by that point, I had already been on medication. Looking back, I now realize I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to advocate for myself. Doctors are very quick to prescribe medication, and I saw that firsthand during this journey.
I’d also like to add that I got married at the age of 20 to my wonderful husband, Marcus. I know that is a SUPER young age, and I am aware that I am still very young. However, I am proud to say that we recently celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. I wanted to mention this because the struggles of marriage definitely played a role in my mental health, and I feel like they worsened the side effects of my medication at the time.
To return to the purpose of this article, I eventually started seeing another psychiatrist. When I mentioned that Zoloft was no longer working, they put me on Venlafaxine, a serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor (SNRI) used to treat depression, anxiety disorders, and panic disorder. Common side effects include:
- Nausea, dizziness, drowsiness
- Insomnia or fatigue
- Dry mouth
- Increased sweating
- Loss of appetite or weight changes
- Elevated blood pressure (especially at higher doses)
Stopping Venlafaxine abruptly can cause withdrawal symptoms, including those listed above and something called brain “zaps.”
When I started this medication, I was at 25mg, and it seemed to help for a few months. However, exactly three months later, I started experiencing severe side effects. My dose was increased to 50mg, but I tried to convince myself that it was helping my mood and that my body was just adjusting—or maybe I was changing as I got older.
It started with occasional nausea and excessive sweating. I would get hot flashes throughout the day, and even during the winter, I wouldn’t feel cold. Then came the horrible migraines that landed me in the hospital multiple times. Every month, I was either seeing my doctor or in the hospital because of how bad they were. It turned out I was severely dehydrated due to the medication. I was also diagnosed with IBS-D (Irritable Bowel Syndrome with diarrhea) by a GI specialist. Despite seeing multiple doctors for various symptoms, not one mentioned that Venlafaxine could be causing or worsening them.
I brought my concerns to my psychiatrist—stomach pain, migraines, sweating, hair loss, appetite issues, and mood swings. After about eight months on Venlafaxine, I felt like I was experiencing my emotions through a glass wall. I knew why I should be feeling a certain way, but I couldn’t truly feel it. I would cry intensely, yet still feel numb inside. It was a confusing and frustrating state of mind. Additionally, I experienced occasional bursts of anger. At the time, my marriage was struggling, and I felt the medication was only making things worse. My psychiatrist’s solution? Increase my dose to 150mg daily.
About three months later, I was fed up. One of the worst side effects was insomnia. I would wake up abruptly at the same time every night—3 a.m.—and then struggle to fall back asleep. Sometimes I would eat a snack, other times I would lay on the couch with my animals until I was tired again. This, of course, impacted my work. At the time, I was in customer service, working from home—a job that took a serious toll on my mental health. (I’ll discuss that in another blog.)
Then, an issue with my insurance caused me to go without my medication for a week. It was one of the worst weeks of my life—physically and mentally. I picked fights with my husband, cried over everything, and felt an overwhelming urge to end my life.
After four months on 150mg of Venlafaxine, I decided I couldn’t handle the side effects anymore. The fear of not being able to obtain my medication due to insurance issues also scared me. I consulted with my psychiatrist, and they created a six-week plan to wean me off. They warned me that withdrawal could be worse than my original symptoms.
The withdrawal effects were horrendous. I experienced intense brain zaps—every time I blinked, I felt a wave of dizziness and heard a “zap” in my ears. These lasted for months after stopping the medication.
Now, six months off Venlafaxine, I am finally feeling better. This was only possible with support from family and friends, lifestyle changes (diet and exercise), and continued therapy.
Although I know others have had similar experiences, this is just my story with antidepressants. Thank you for reading.